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  • Writer's pictureMadazon Can-Can

Seriously, You Can-Can't Be Serious...Clown Kink?

Okay, so yes. Everybody and their dog makes fun of this.

Literally everybody. And who's to say they're wrong?

It's weird, it's Kinky, It's NICHE AF and for someone like me...utterly satisfying.

I had my first phone client for my Kinky Clown line on NiteFlirt (call me sometime).

It's my MOST expensive line and I was #4356 on the list of Extra Kinky Mistresses on the World Wide Web at the time...needless to say, this guy was looking for some Honk Honk Badonk-a-Donk.

We started out right off the bat with him panting and squealing in what I presumed was the proverbial corner of his mind. "Please don't stomp on me! Not in your BIG RED SHOES." I was off to the races of course in custom clown voice telling him that I love it when people are scared and started inching closer and closer (again in his mind).

Pro tip: You use a squeaker far away from the phone and bring it closer and closer to the speaker to indicate you are 'sneaking up' on your sub in BIG RED SHOES. I've got a sound effect kit for a reason. It's the Speaker Squeaker for me Boss!

Then it was the sweaty rainbow socks, the tutu and the eventual armpit sniffing that really got the guy. He was here for some serious playtime and of course I aim to please. Giggling and laughing my way through this call wasn't hard considering the content and WHAM-O, BLAM-O...armpits in the face really can do the trick after torturing someone with sweaty clown shoes on get the idea.

Definitely one of my favorite calls to date. Something about being paid to be an obnoxious, naughty clown with white clown paint and a red nose. Indulging in ALL the things I was told never to do in Clown School and really playing with someone...hard core playing in a fantasy world that exists only in sound and the two minds sharing the call...that's PURE unadulterated magic my friends. I Can-Can't wait for the next one. This time they better pay the Rubber Chicken Tribute.

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